At a recent Thinkers50 ceremony in London, Marshall Goldsmith, my Mentor and friend and the author of What Got You Here Won’t Get There and thirty-five other books, was recognised again as the world’s leadership thinker and number one executive coach. Goldsmith suggests in the book that the corporate world is filled with executives, men and women who have worked hard for years to reach the upper levels of management. In his own words, he describes many of these individuals as “intelligent, skilled and even charismatic,” and that there are subtle nuances that make the differences between those who remain stuck and the handful of them that will ever reach the pinnacle.
This article does not attempt to provide a book review of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, however, with the start of the new year and the unprecedented opportunities it brings, I thought I could share three of the points from this timely classic that can help accelerate your progress towards your definite purpose.
Successful People Believe They Are In Control
Most people have a natural tendency to focus directly on results, and unfortunately results are not something we can fully control. Or are they? Abraham Lincoln once said, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” The fact is that you can be the strongest lumberjack in the world, but with a dull axe, you are in trouble!
Ordinary people who achieve extraordinary results know that they can control their effort and preparation. You can work hard, hustle, put on your big boy or girl pants and do the work, but the magic happens when you aim to perfect your skills beforehand and remain open to learning and applying new things.
On a scale from 1–10 (where 10 is the greatest effort possible and 1 is no effort) how much effort have you put into your practice/preparation this week?
You really can control success most of the time and the best way to do it is to take control of your preparation, something we can all focus on. People will only do something and change when it is in their own interest and aligns with their values so this has far reaching implications for employees, businessmen and businesswomen and for our personal relationships.
Emotions trump reason every time. When we make a decision based on a strong why, we own it. Saundra Loffredo, instructor at Herzing University, says that a misalignment between individual involvement/activity and values can make a person completely miserable, trigger depression or even cause physical illness.
What are your core values?
Loffredo categorises core values into three types:
1. Intrinsic Values
Intrinsic values are related to intangibles about your career/business. These are the values that motivate you and help you feel fulfilled. Examples of intrinsic values are giving back to society via charity.
2. Extrinsic Values
Extrinsic value relates to the tangible rewards derived from your work/business. Some examples of extrinsic value are wages, profits, influence and working as part of a team.
3. Lifestyle Values
What you do for a living and where you work produces a certain type of lifestyle. The type of lifestyle you desire can help complete the picture of what you value. Examples of lifestyle values may include travel, level of material comfort and living in a big city.
Your values, whatever they are, as you review the answers you provided earlier, give you a sense of purpose and are guidelines to what fits you best. If you do not know what your core values are yet, start working today to get those answers, they are inside you.
Owning Up To Our Mistakes Is Essential
Personal integrity was an area I struggled with during my weight loss journey. I was obese, depressed and anxious. I was able to manage my weight through what my personal trainer and family doctor describe as intense focus and commitment to adopting healthy lifestyle habits. Prior to conquering my own procrastination and laziness, I would always make excuses. Many times I convinced myself that I would just randomly add an additional unauthorised ‘cheat-day meal’ or on more than one occasion, put off going to the gym just because it was snowing or raining. I would find creative ways to busy myself so that I could classify the gym visit as a ‘lower priority’ or ‘burden’ to my calendar.
The public nature of my weight loss journey attracted wide support from family, friends and fans, who wanted to learn how I was able to overcome unhealthy living and trade it for a new lifestyle. Paradoxically, as I cleaned up the poor habits around personal physical health, I radically transformed key relationships, personal finances and my contribution to clients and followers.
Give yourself permission to fail. Where your behaviour has been undesirable and you have hurt yourself and others, seek forgiveness and forgive those who have hurt you. Recently, during a consultation with one of my clients I was able to offer her several key exercises and a snapshot of the philosophy of the power of forgiveness. As indicated earlier people are more likely to make behavioural changes when they understand why change is necessary and the benefits to them. We are all wired like that and during any interaction, we constantly ask ourselves, ‘What’s in it for me?’ She was able to save a failing relationship with her brother. This past festive period, she was able to celebrate Christmas and New Year’s Day together with the brother and his Wife and kids, in a family lodging accommodation.
Unlike the movies or a ‘How-To’ guide on YouTube, success takes time. Success also will not always take the form you imagine. For example, after two individuals forgive each other, it may be decided that going in separate directions is best. This is also success. Get into the habit of defining your success by the level of effort you put into planning and preparation — No matter what it is! Experience indicates you will typically find yourself happier and more successful as a result.
Focus on what you can control. Honestly engage in the activities in this article. Peter Drucker, management guru, suggests that we can only manage what we measure, and I agree. For optimum results, evaluate the amount of effort you have put into your practice/preparation daily and monitor the trend over 90-Day blocks to identify, isolate and treat patterns. Establish personal penalties and rewards and enjoy the process. Remember emotions trump reason every time.
What’s your why?
Understanding and being aware of what motivates us and others, provides deep insight into our human experience and a new lens through which to see the world.
Finally, we all make mistakes. When you make the inevitable mistake, dust yourself off and get back up again. You cannot learn anything from a mistake until you admit that you have made it. When we do not learn from our mistakes, we inflict unnecessary stress on ourselves and others, we also risk losing people’s confidence and trust in us.
Behavioural problems, not technical skills are what separate the successful and the average. While the new year brings with it, frequent change and challenges, ordinary people can become successful through hard work, hustle, effort and preparation for its inestimable opportunities.
Eliot Kelly is recognised as a serial Entrepreneur, and has been featured on CNN, BBC Three’s Be Your Own Boss and an extensive list of magazines and articles. His four books have been translated in over 7 languages and are sold in 29 countries, recently being shortlisted for Best Self-Help and Best Advice Books 2019 by The Author Academy. He is regarded as a top Sales, Business and Leadership Management Coach who creates opportunities for his success partner’s through financial literacy and life skills training. He is also a Professional Speaker and continues to inspire present and future entrepreneurs around the world. You Know More Than You Think You Do releases this Spring! Pre-Order Today.
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